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MaritimeGuy · Joined: 25 Aug 2009 Posts: 31

It appears he wants things according to his agenda or not at all. Sounds like a control freak to me. I'd stear clear if I were you...unless of course you want to be at his beck and call and have no life for fear it will upset him.

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl · Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:06 am Post subject:

Don't worry. I'm steering clear!!! I have a life and I am keeping it that way. I did, however, drive myself crazy after he left wondering if it was something I had done. At least now I know....IT WASN'T ME!!! IT WAS HIM!!! ALL HIM!!!

Who wants any type of relationship with someone who, as soon as things aren't how he THINKS or WANTS them to be 1000% bails?? I'll tell you who NO ONE!

But, at least now I know for sure. It wasn't me. I did all I could. It is not my job to save or fix him.

But you would think that he would have learned SOMETHING from before, but I guess not. I guess he will just keep on repeating the same old behaviours and never learn anything.

Yes, he is a control freak. Yes, he is narcisstic (everything and everyone is supposed to revolve around him). Yes, he is probably a sociopath.

(running away now....off to my happy life without him!!!)
_________________
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." -- MARCEL PROUST

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl · Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:12 am Post subject:

But I know, eventually he is going to call me again. He'll apologize. He'll probably act like none of this every happened and/or think that is just how he is (he told me before "you know I say things I don't mean when I'm upset" like I'm just supposed to accept anything that comes out of his mouth).

But, one of us did learn something from this relationship. ME. I will never again be with anybody who thinks SO MUCH of themselves and SO LITTLE of everyone else! He ain't all that.

He lost his chance (and he had several chances).

Yes, everybody makes mistakes. Most people LEARN from those mistakes and don't repeat them over and over. Not him. Same old stuff, different day. 15 months later!

Now, if I see him anywhere around my house again, I'm not talking to him about it, I'm just calling the cops and filing a stalker complaint. I'm done with all that!!!!
_________________
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." -- MARCEL PROUST

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl · Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:31 am Post subject:

Oh well. I guess after a while I start to doubt myself. But, NOT MY FAULT, NOT MY FAULT, NOT MY FAULT.

The reason I was going to meet him is some of his family had indicated that the reason he gave me for leaving is not the reason he was telling everyone else, and I wanted some answers from him. But, the truth is he would have just lied to me anyway, and it really doesn't matter any more why he left. He left, and that is that. I finally realized that if people are stupid enough to believe what he is telling them about me, then let them. Not everyone is that stupid and it no longer matters.

I don't know why I always worry about what others think of me, but I do. It is something I am trying to work on.
_________________
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." -- MARCEL PROUST

MaritimeGuy · Joined: 25 Aug 2009 Posts: 31

I think it's typical when someone leaves you they'll tell anyone who listens all kinds of bad things about you. I think it's their way of rationalizing their choice. To do otherwise would mean they are accepting some of the blame.

I found out from a mutual friend after my seperation that my ex was telling people I was a monster. That's just the one thing that got passed along to me. God knows what other kinds of things were said. In a way I'm sure she believed what she was saying. In order to get the courage to leave me (or ask me to leave in my case) she needed to build me up in her mind as a monster. Like many other people I certainly had my issues but I don't believe they were as bad as she was making out. We each have our own perception of reality. My guess is the reality lies somewhere in the middle.