my dad

Guest · my dad

passed away an hour ago. the weird thing is - there are a lot of people i could call - and i don't want to. i don't think i have the emotional reserve to make it through "hello" on the phone.

kind of hurting though...

kamuffle

Guest

My deepest sympathy on your loss.

You are starting somewhere though by posting here!
We are here for you.

Guest

thanks. it's probably the first "crisis" i am handling alone and it feels very lonely. this is so strange...

Guest

my condolences. you have a lot on your plate. hang tough.

Guest

thank you.

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl

Oh Kamuffle! I'm sorry. Losing someone is always so hard to handle. Was it unexpected?

Guest

not completely unexpected, but it was very quick - taken to er last night. he went to three dinners last week on their social circuit. and mass, so it's all good there.

thanks.

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl

It is still really hard to go through. Especially when you are by yourself. But, you're not alone. You have all of us to lean on, don't forget!!! Here a big cyber hug from me [[[[[[[[[[[hug]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]].

Is there anything you want to talk about? I know lots of times when a loved one dies everyone is so afraid to talk about that person, but I think it helps to talk. Keeping things bottled up inside isn't good anyway. So, anything goes....I'm all ears....

Guest

My prayers are with you and your family

Guest

So sorry and my prayers and thoughts are with you and your loved ones also.

Guest

kamuffle,

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's not easy even if it is somewhat expected.

Guest

how are you doing today kammy?

Guest

tired. it really hit when i walked in the house...

Guest

Its not your life after divorce....Its just life.
Stay stong and be safe, And know we are here for you.

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl

Hang in there Kam! Lean on your family and let them lean on you, and together you will all make it through.

Hugs!!!

Guest

thanks for checking on me, hearton

i don't know quite how i'm feeling - but EXCEPTIONALLY NEEDY might be a start

this is tough - another thing to grieve

and then on some issues i'm more resolute - stronger desire to fix some loose ends and move on a bit more from the divorce fallout. time and life are moving on at a faster pace than i am. i can look back over the last 16 months and know what i have accomplished, but i'm still in a bit of a holding pattern

sometimes it feels like being divorced has become my defining characteristic - it came up over and over again this week...people asked out of concern, but i really don't want to talk about it.

i just want to be me again. whoever i am now.

Guest

holding patterns are just plans for the greater good......
you know you and you will be you in your time....

Guest

Guest

[quote=]Well.....in the vane of letting you stay under the radar....

HOW'S THE WEATHER? lol[/quote]

that's the thing about being here or the other forum for that matter - i don't want the attention but i need to get it out. i don't want the pity so i don't talk about this with people in my daily life but come here to talk to those who get it and won't pity. but so much of my story is pitiful and telling it here is seeking attention ...

so my rational, logical mind can not get that - it's circular. and if you truly knew how much of a challenge getting through this is for me - oy vey!

btw it's sunny and pretty mild today Rolling Eyes

Guest

thank you.

it is so hard for me to ask for help. one of the major challenges in my life. i feel this sense of determination to not be broken - my spirit can't allow that. i will take it if you dish it out - and i will not crack.

but i know i am cracking - in a very large and visible way. and i hate it.

but here i sit trying so hard to move on and i can't. this is the challenge that has defeated me - and he knew it. he couldn't have manufactured a better set of circumstances if he tried.

oh lord, the floodgates are opening....

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl

Then let the floodgates open!!! Get it all out of your system! It really does help. And I found the more I let the floodgates open, the less I needed to, until eventually I felt so much better!!! But, my stuff everything down inside method that I learned in childhood, and had been doing my whole entire life, started failing miserably and I started falling to pieces all over the place. But letting it all out, it sure did help!

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl

Oh yeah! I've got the cracking part down!!! At least I'm good at something!!!

Guest

thank you both, heart on and citygirl.

i do believe he is in great pain and i always try to remember that.

i will let it out in time...trust and vulnerability....arghhhh!!!!

maybe i've done enough for today...it overwhelms me if it's too much at one time

still trying to stem the tide

thanks for hearing me

CityGirl a/k/a FlirtyGirl

Just take it a step at a time. You'll get there. Big hugs from Texas@!!

Guest

Guest

Kamuffle. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart and my thoughts go out to you.